Friday, 21 June 2013

All I've got.....

"The tax man's taken all my dough,
And left me in my stately home,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.

And I can't sail my yacht,
He's taken everything I've got,
All I've got's this sunny (!) afternoon...."

So I’ve just returned from Rio and an amazing journey with a commercial project for a big name sports brand.
We had clients, marketing agency, and the event agency plus the actual client and the shoot was a great success. Everyone was enthusiastic, excited and very happy with it all…..

But I’ve come back now and now the exhaustion and emptiness has hit me. Yep that’s right. Exhaustion is obvious as we’ve been working for 3 months up to this point and that’s to be expected.
But emptiness?
Whats that about?

It took me a couple of days to really understand why suddenly I felt so empty, like you’ve spent the last 3 months living someone elses life and suddenly you come home to an empty nest.
Like finishing a run of a great show, where you’ve lived the character and put everything into it, and suddenly…its over.

Similarly my sole focus, my goal has been to produce this project, get it shot and in the can and get it back to the UK so my postproduction team can work on it. And now they are. And my part is almost done……leaving me with a gaping hole where I once was filled with emails, schedules, meeting and more budgets. (oh the budgets).
Now I turn around and my actor self says – ‘hey, where’s my creative fulfillment?’

So I’m throwing myself into my upcoming projects. Yes I’m exhausted, empty but filled with a creative yearning to really get out there and create!
I’m sure you’ve felt this before, an almost insane need to BE CREATIVE whatever that means! From wearing different coloured shoelaces, making lists in different coloured pens, wearing head to toe blue, dancing crazy for no reason, writing or sinking into a fictional world whatever it is – that creative urge is asking to be acknowledged and will drive us crazy until we do!

Now of course this commercial was creative in its own way and very exciting and a real coup for my producer personae. But ultimately it is unsatisfying as my heart needs the creative outlet.

So if you’re feeling this too here’s my advice after several days of feeling blue:

Re-energise: Read, watch, listen whatever your creative consumption is – do it. Go for long walks, watch films, go to an art gallery, experience an immersive piece, listen to music….

Re-envision: where do you want to be in 3 months time? What are your upcoming goals?

Re-boot: What projects have you discarded because you got busy? Can you pick them up again?
Pick up that project you were going to film or make and start it again. Enlist help, and reach out to your networks – you never know what people will bring to the table or what they will surprise you with!

Re-new: Go out, mingle with new people, find new events to attend and get out there. You never know what a chance encounter will bring….

And just B.E.G.I.N – which can be harder than you think.
So take small steps.
Make a small list.
Tick off one item.
Tick off the next.
Repeat until all items are gone or the list is no longer necessary.

On that note, I’m going off to take my own advice.
Continue writing my story of girl named Providence, who needs to find the courage to stand up for her people, after losing her father and being on the run from the law. 

And Reboot my short film A Perfect Soldier and find some exciting collaborators!

See you in 2 weeks time.

And please if you have any thoughts please comment below – I’d love to hear how you manage your work!

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